


Touch Me With Your Alien Dick

by tvfeels



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alien AU, Bottom Louis, Camping, Fingering, Louis is a little shit, M/M, Mind Reading, Sex Alien, Swearing, Top Harry, all the lads, cabin in the woods reference, crackfic, everything makes sense, except the alien part, harry is a sex alien, hot alien sexy times, im really bad at tagging just like i am at life, lots of swearing, sorta a crack fic sorta not, yay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-20
Updated: 2015-11-28
Packaged: 2018-04-04 23:41:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 18,858
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4157379
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tvfeels/pseuds/tvfeels
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry is a sex alien sent to earth to fuck Louis Tomlinson</p><p>or the one where having sex with an alien isn't weird at all</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello :) I hope you all enjoy this and i'm sorry for the dodgy smut.This is my first time writing it and it's really really scary. 
> 
> Chapter Song: Error Playin' - Ball Park Music

Louis needs this. Nature. The fresh smell of the great outdoors. It's an escape for him. Away from school. Away from people nagging him to get a job. Away from ex boyfriends. Away from life. Away from everything. Fucking brilliant.

Louis is happy. He's sitting back on his chair (a top notch chair, if he does say so himself), his eyes are shut and his head slightly tilted to the sky. It's just gotten dark, and he can hear all the night creatures coming out to play. For some reason it's strangely soothing. Louis needs this.

"Oi Tommo, you lazy sod."

Fuck no. Louis does not need Liam shouting at him from across the campsite. Liam can fuck the fuck off.

"Tommo!" Liam tries again. "Get off your fat ass and help a little yeah?"

"What did you call my ass?" Louis will not have anyone call his ass fat. Unless they happily stick something up it every now and then, those certain people can call his ass whatever they want.

"Come on, mate." Zayn chimes in then. He's currently holding a pole which doesn't look like it belongs anywhere. Well at least it doesn't look like it belongs in any of the tents, Liam, Niall and Zayn are trying to set up.

They arrived at the campsite when it was light and have been setting up for about two hours now just managing to get the tarps set up and lights hoisted before the sun went down. Now Louis is having a rest and he does not want to set up any tents. He's supervising. Obviously.

"At least go get us some firewood, it's bloody freezing out here." Oh Niall. Beautiful, sunshine, puppy dog, Niall. Whose idea it was to go camping in the first place. _"Three days of pure bliss"_ \- exact words from Nialls happy smiley mouth. Louis isn't complaining, but Niall needs to shut the fuck up about it being cold because it was his bloody idea!

It's then that the whole sky lights up. They all see it. It was kinda hard to miss to be honest. It was like someone turned a big spotlight on the world and then within seconds it was gone. Weird.

"Did you guys see that?" Liams asks from the ground where he is digging a fire pit. Which they have no wood for. Which Louis is expected to go get.

"Yes we saw it you dick. Kinda hard to miss." Okay Louis may be enjoying the great out doors, but he is in a right mood.

Louis has been a bit pissy since his boyfriend (well ex boyfriend now) broke up with him two weeks ago for no apparent reason at all. He's over, Kevin. Sure. Although he hasn't has any kind of relief for four weeks because they always fucked at Kevin's house. No way in hell was Louis going to risk fucking in his mums house with his sisters in the room next to him. He hasn't even been able to have a proper wank because his whole bloody extended family has taken residency in his fucking space! Louis is a bit on edge at the moment. He knows he shouldn't take it out on his friends.

"I'm sure it was nothing. Space shit happens all the time around here." Louis tries to shake it off as nothing because if they start questioning it there will be a 5 hour long argument about what it could be. Louis doesn't think saying it was nothing is going to stop Zayn and Niall from rambling on about space shit though. He needs to get out of there.

"Alright, i'll go get wood. Don't have too much fun without me." Louis gets up from his beautiful comfy chair he is so close to shedding a tear. "Goodbye chair," He whispers, wiping under his left eye. As he is walking away he can vaguely hear Zayn saying, "What if it's an alien, Niall? Do you think it'll do butt stuff to us?" Pfft yeah, like that's even been proven. Why would an alien want to poke around in human butts anyways. Louis wound't mind it, but still, why would they? Niall's laugh can be heard as he ventures further away from camp.

~

Thank god Louis remembered to grab a torch before he went into the woods. It's so dark there isn't even any light from the moon. Louis could of sworn the moon wasn't covered by clouds before that big flash of light. Hmm, maybe it might rain.

Louis can still see the campsite if he turns around. He doesn't walk too far because he doesn't want to get lost. He may be a little scared. Louis starts picking up twigs but he can't carry many because one of his hands is occupied by the light. Damn light helping him see. So annoying.

Louis decides to go back to the campsite to drop off what he has in his already. There's no big branches out this way anyways. Maybe he'll have more luck the other side.

"Back so soon?" Liam asks with a smirk on his face.

"No, I'm just dropping some of these stupid twigs off. Maybe you could get started on it and i'll go look over there for some bigger stuff to burn". Louis points across the campsite in the direction he clearly didn't come from.

"I don't know Tommo, we just heard some strange noises coming from there. Best not." No doubt what's running through Niall's head as he speaks is some alien theory Louis just doesn't have time to deal with it.

Louis snorts. Ignoring Niall he ventures off in the other direction. Louis could swear he hears Zayn mutter a soft "I love you, be safe." Damn why does Zayn always talk as he's walking away. One of these days Louis will actually get the lad to say more than a few words to his face. One of these days.

~

It's harder to see the campsite the way Louis is going now. There is too much tree cover. Louis just keeps walking. He could probably shout out anyways and they'll come find him. Hopefully. He's still a little scared but he's also cold as fuck and where the hell is all the good firewood in these stupid woods?

It's scattered everywhere. That's where it is. He does two trips back and fourth to the campsite dropping off more and more wood each time. The third time he goes out he travels a little further, veering off to the right a little. Okay, Louis is sure he's really fucking far away from the campsite now. He can't see anything. He can only see what his torch is lighting up.

"Ah fuck," Louis says to himself. No one is around to hear him might as well become crazy and mumble short sentences to himself. "I really need to fucking pee." Louis curses his small bladder.

He props the light on the ground against a log big enough for a fire pit.

"Oh fucking brilliant. Just what i've been looking for. Hello little woody," Louis pats the log. He's going crazy in these woods and it's only been a few hours since they got there. "You look great sitting down there all dry and ready to burn. You'd like that wouldn't you? Being burnt?" Louis laughs to himself. He opens his fly and prepares himself. Louis is still laughing as he lets his stream flow. Louis isn't the only one laughing...

  
At first he thinks it's Niall. Niall laughs a lot. Niall will fucking laugh at anything. But nope, it's not Niall, it's not Liam or Zayn either. The laugh is too deep. Too serious. Louis' stomach sinks. He stops peeing and does up his fly. There is someone else in the woods with him and they're standing right behind him. What the fuck does one do in this situation. Could Louis' screams reach the campsite now? Probably not. Could he run, make a break for it? Fuck no. He's kinda lost at the moment. Only one thing left to do.

Louis quickly bends down picking up his torch hurling it towards where the laughing is coming from. It doesn't do what he intended it to do. Instead there is a guy standing in front of him clutching the torch that was thrown at him. He's smiling at Louis. A huge toothy grin and eyes staring at Louis unblinking and still.

"Hi." comes a low rumble from the guy. Despite this being creepy as fuck the guy is really fit. Like unworldly fit. Like Louis will jump him right now if he doesn't jump Louis first. The guy is standing there in front of Louis all body and legs. His bare chest is glistening (glistening off what Louis thinks to himself. The moon isn't even out. There is nothing to glisten off). His pants are also tight as hell. Like painted on tight. Louis doesn't forget to notice those.

"Ah.." Louis doesn't know what to do. Does he run now? Scream? This guy seems to have a hold on him, just staring into Louis' eyes.

"I'm Harry."

Ah..okay, Harry why the fuck are you standing in the middle of the woods. Louis thinks. But all that comes out of his mouth is a tiny squeak. That is so unlike Louis. Louis is usually the one talking people's ear off about random crap and annoying the hell out them. Maybe Louis is still scared. Maybe he is still sorta shitting himself at this random guy in the woods. Oh sorry, random Harry in the woods. Harry is really really hot.

"Don't be scared Louis."

WHAT? THAT'S NOT CREEPY AT ALLLLL!

Okay Louis needs to chill. The boys will know he's been gone a long time. Surely they will come and start looking soon. Louis will not die tonight.

Louis' heart is beating out of his chest now, this is a really odd situation. He decides to just pick up his torch and calmly as possible walk away.

"Don't do that, Louis. The boys won't notice you're gone," Harry answers Louis' thoughts. Louis wonders to himself whether or not Harry can read minds. Now that's a crazy thought. As if someone could read mi....

"Yes I can read your mind," Harry says just as relaxed and smooth as he has been since Louis noticed him. "You don't have to say a single thing if you don't want to."

"Purple flying elephant!"

"Purple flying elephant!" Louis and Harry both say at the same time. Louis saying it faster trying to catch Harry off guard.

Hmm, interesting. Louis could have some fun with this.

"I was thinking of a different fun to be honest."

"What do you mean?" Despite Harry being able to read minds Louis still can't help but voice his thoughts. It's the first proper thing Louis has said to Harry that hasn't been an _"ah.."_  or a squeak.

"You need this Louis, so don't try and push me away." Harry slowly starts to move towards him. There is something in his eyes that says he just wants to eat Louis up. But in a good way.

"Need what?"

"Honestly you don't need to speak."

Louis will speak if he god damn wants to speak. Who does Harry think he is.

"I could feel your sexual frustration all the way from my home planet. You need this."

Home planet? What?

It's then that Harry grabs Louis' hands and leads him further into the woods. They round a few trees and come to a clearing. There is a soft double bed just sitting there all made and inviting. The sky clears and the moon shines down. Just like that scene in that one horror movie where scientists are controlling what happens. Louis loves that movie.

"This isn't a movie."

No shit Harry. This is Louis' life. Although, it could he dream. Louis thinks this must be a dream. Where the fuck did the bed even come from.

"This isn't a dream either."

"Well can you care to explain the bed. Can you care to explain you?"

"The bed is my spaceship. Well..." Harry giggles at himself. "The bed can be anything I want it to be."

Harry drops Louis' hands. He rubes his own thumb and pointer finger together. Right in front of Louis' eyes the bed changes into a spaceship. Then a bear, then a house, a group of people, a train, a lion and it's tamer and then, Louis personal favourite, a kitten. Louis coos. He walks forward to go pick it up (because honestly who doesn't love a cute kitten), but the kitten changes back into a bed. The same bed from before.

"No time for that. We need to get to business I can't stand your sexual frustration anymore."

"What are you gonna do? Fuck me?" Louis snorts. Like yeah this hot sexy half naked mysterious man is going to fuck Louis Tomlinson.

"Yes"

That's all Harry says and the next thing Louis knows he is on the bed spread out like starfish.

"Wait, Harry. Wait" Louis tries as Harry is leaning down over him moving into this mouth. Harry stops and looks at Louis in confusion like this isn't what he really wants.

"You don't want this? I know you do, Louis"

"No I do. I really do. Fuck. It's just.." Louis wants to know more is the thing. Why is Louis being so trusting. "Where did you come from? What are you?"

And so, Harry explains "I'm from planet Athea. We can sense sexual frustration all around the galaxy. It's our job to help people release it. As you can see I have special abilities as well. Like the fact all your friends are currently suspended in time. I did that. When you get back it will only be a minute to them. And you saw what I could do to my spaceship," Harry smiles sweetly at Louis. Louis really loves Harry's smile. "Also...you're seeing me right now as your ideal human. I don't really look like this. Not from where I come from anyway, but to you this..." Harry motions to his body "...is hot" and there's that smile again.

Well that explains a lot. It explains why Louis has practically been drooling since he saw Harry.

"Is that all you want to know?"

"Ah..I guess."

"Now can we please get down to business."

Harry is still on top of him looking down at Louis, so he nods in agreement. At that Harry doesn't hesitate to lean forward crushing their lips together.

They make-out furiously for what seems like a lifetime. A lifetime Louis is happy to be living. Harry's tongue slides out pushing Louis' lips apart. Louis is happy to open up for him.

Harry's hands are soft as they run up Louis' sides under his hoodie. His hands are the perfect temperature and his touch just the right pressure.

Louis is really glad Harry can read minds. This is going to be incredible sex for sure.

Harry takes his time working Louis' mouth, tongue exploring every inch. Louis can taste Harry and it's magical. Maybe that's because everything Harry is is everything Louis likes. Harry basically said that himself.

There feels like there are multiple hands touching his body, but when Louis looks down there is only two, one which is on it's way to his covered cock. Harry touches him then sending an instant shiver through Louis' body. Oh god he needs this. Harry continues to palm him through his jeans.

Louis needs more. Needs skin on skin. He doesn't even need to say anything because Harry knows exactly what he needs.

Harry undoes Louis' zip and bring his pants and underwear down in one swift movement. No to mention only with one hand. The other hand has been gently playing with Louis' nipple. As soon as Harry's hand touches Louis he moans. A loud breathy shameless moan. He worries for a moment that the lads might hear him.

"They can't hear you, love. You can be as loud as you want." Harry assures him.

Louis wiggles up the bed a bit, desperate to get his hoodie off. It's suddenly gotten hot out. He takes his hoodie off and before he can even flick it away Harry's mouth is working down his bare chest. Licking, biting and kissing Louis with no shame (well he is a sex alien after all), all while he continues to pump Louis' cock.

Honestly this has to be a dream Louis think to himself. But his thoughts are not really to himself anymore. Louis needs to remember Harry can hear everything that's running through his mind. It's both awesome and annoying.

"For the last time it's not a dream, Louis," Harry says through a pause of licks, bites and kisses.

Okay fine, it's not a dream. 

"Just sit back and relax."

So Louis does just that. Gets the idea of this being a dream out of his head.

Harry reaches his hip bones sucking a huge bruise and teasing with a bite. Louis cries out at that but he loves it. Wants Harry to do it again. So he does. This time to the other side.

Harry's mouth is so close to Louis' cock now. Louis can practically feel Harry's hot breath. In one go Harry consumes his member deep throating him instantly. Louis let's out his biggest moan yet. Louis is so turned on right now he barely feels Harry smirk around his dick.

Harry continues to suck and lick just the way Louis likes. Louis has to stop himself from thrusting into Harry, but Harry doesn't seem to mind when Louis' hips thrust up.

"You can fuck my mouth," Harry stops for a second just enough to give Louis permission.

Louis doesn't waste anytime. Still laying on his back he starts trusting up into Harry's throat. Harry just takes it, showing no signs of a gag reflex. At the thought of that Louis is ready to explode, but he holds up. Harry promised to fuck him.

Reading his mind, Harry stops blowing him while Louis is mid thrust slapping Harry in the face with his dick. No apology needed though because Harry moves straight on to working his hole open.

Harry's finger nudges at his rim. For a second Louis wonder if they're going to need lube, but Harry slowly starts entering him, his finger self lubricating along the way. Fucking aliens. The sensations is incredible, Louis feeling the instant stretch and letting out a cry.

He has been letting out soft moans and whimpers no longer worried about anyone hearing him.

Harry adds two more fingers, moves straight onto three doesn't bother about a slow build. He starts scissoring him open, lube is dripping out of his hole.

Louis is ready. Louis needs this now, and harry know it.

Harry's removes his fingers. The warm feeling of fingers is only gone for a second and quickly replaced with Harry's tip touching his hole. Louis looks down seeing Harry's cock under the moon light. It's huge, Louis wants to cry with joy. Side note- when did Harry removes his jeans? Louis isn't complaining though because Harry's dick is beautiful especially in this light.

Their eyes lock, staring at each other with want, passion and dirty dirty sex on their minds. Harry keeps poking his hole. Tiny little pokes with his penis, teasing Louis a little. But Louis doesn't need to wait long because Harry is slamming into him. Louis lets out the biggest cry, head flying back and his eyes squeezing shut. A little tear escapes.

The feeling is incredible. The feeling is hot as fuck. The feeling is making Louis cry with want and more and more and more. Harry is ramming into him. Trust after trust after trust. Each time hitting Louis's prostate that only makes Louis scream more with pleasure.

It's so nice not to have to speak during sex and Harry just knowing what he wants. Knowing what makes Louis feel good. Harry is a sex God. No...he is a sex alien with a dick of a sex God.

"Cum for me baby. Cum." Harry leans down crushing their lips together in a pleasure enhancing kiss. His hand starts pumping Louis through it, Harry breaking the kiss every now and then to tell Louis to cum for him.

The words do something to Louis because he is shooting cum all up his own chest as Harry works his cock. Louis' screams echo through the woods. Louis has never, NEVER cum that hard before. He shutters multiple times as the last bits of cum land low on his stomach.

Harry doesn't bother finishing, he just pulls out and licks all the cum off Louis' chest. He shuts his eyes enjoying the slow drag of Harry's tongue as he cleans him.

It's suddenly cold and dark again. This (and the sudden removal of Harry's tongue) is what makes Louis realise Harry is gone. His source of warmth and his source of light are no where to be seen. "So I guess we're not cuddling then." Louis voices his disappointment. 

Louis is left naked and freshly fucked, but a small smiles still appears on his face. That was the best orgasm he as ever had and Louis didn't even get the little fuckers number. As if aliens have mobiles though. Maybe Louis should start looking for a job with NASA.

~

After getting dressed Louis makes his way back to the campsite. Surprisingly he wasn't as lost as he thought thanks to alien magic. 

Louis stops at the edge of the campsite. He see's Niall finishing up with his and Louis' tent, Zayn folding out some chairs and Liam still trying to get the fire started with the little wood he has to work with. It's then that he remembers that he forgot the firewood he was out there for in the first place. Louis is about to say sorry in a way of getting their attention, but Liam looks up then, a huge smile on his face.

"Tommo you fucking legend, look at all that wood!" For a second Louis thinks Liam is making a crack, and that he possibly left his fly open, but louis looks down and see's a huge pile of dry firewood next to him.

Thanks, Harry. Louis smiles.

Louis would still think this was all just a dream if it wasn't for the bite marks he can feel on his hip bones, and the fresh feeling of being fucked. His arse is still a little sore.

He wonders when Harry will drop down for another visit. The sex was mind blowing. The smile on his face isn't leaving soon with a memory that good fresh in his mind.

"Why the fuck are you so happy?" Niall says as he slams in the last peg of the tent. He doesn't look too please. Maybe because Louis left him to set up their tent while he was off getting fucked by a sex alien in the woods. But, none of them need to know that tiny bit of information. Louis thinks he might just keep Harry to himself for a while.

Louis doesn't reply to Niall though, just struts back over to his chair. He sits down happily, watching (supervising) the lads work away in front of him.

He tilts his head back looking up into the sky. "Thanks for the alien sex, Harry," he whispers quiet enough that no one hears. He hopes his thanks reach Harry on Athea.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I never planned for this to go past the first chapter, but when ideas strike it's hard not to write them. 
> 
> So here it is! Just be warned, this is most definitely a crackfic and a lot of things will not make sense in terms of reality, but there will be a lot more of Sex Alien Harry :))
> 
> Chapter Song: Fantasy by MS MR

ONE YEAR AND SOMETIME LATER

"Ah fuck," Louis lets out a loud moan squirting cum all over his fist and stomach, some even getting on the bed below him. 

The stranger that had just been pounding him into the mattress pulls out, ties up the condom and lies next to Louis. Louis hasn't moved from his spot on his stomach, his face squashed into the pillow. He is a little disappointed, but can't complain. A fuck is a fuck. 

He's trying to regulate his breathing when it speaks. A hot annoying breath in his ear. Louis was hoping the man would have up and left by now. The stranger obviously doesn't see this as a one night stand like Louis does. 

"Sorry, babe. I didn't quite catch your name before, was a little eager to get at the ass of yours," the man says with an obvious smirk on his face. Louis is glad he has kept his eyes closed. 

"Ah, it's Lou...cas. Lucas," Louis lies because he does not want to deal with this fucker. Time to call in Niall. 

"That name is so hot. We were made for each other babe. Can I get a kiss, I want to cuddle for a while," the guy, who Louis doesn't even know the name of says hopefully. His arm is slung over Louis' back. Gross. 

"I don't think that's a good idea," Louis gets up shifting away from the man to grab his phone. He quickly shoots a text to Niall. "My boyfriend will be home in a bit."

"That's okay, babe. I'll go then. Maybe we can do this another time?" Ah, just as Louis expected. The man clearly isn't getting the hint. 

"Ahh, sure.." Louis tried to stall a bit. God he hopes Niall is home. It's only 4am, he has work in a hour. Surely he is home and awake. Please be home and awake, Niall. He mentally crosses his fingers. 

Louis watches the man grab his stuff and shamelessly watch Louis on the bed. He lifts the covers just that little bit higher to cover his chest. Just as Louis starts to panic, Niall comes to the rescue. 

"OI WHAT THE FUCK?!" Niall (wonderful, straight as all hell, Niall) shouts from the door as he slams it open hitting the wall with a big bang. Louis can't help but smile. Niall is getting good at this. "THAT'S MY BOYFRIEND YOU FUCKING COCK SUCKER." Louis lets out a small laugh at the irony. 

"Oh shit! Fuck," the stranger starts getting dressed at the speed of light. Niall getting closer yelling horrible things at him in the process. 

"Love, I'm so sorry," Louis chimes in just to add to the act. 

Niall doesn't miss a beat, "I'll deal with you later," he says pointing a stern finger in Louis' direction. 

Before Niall makes it to the man, he's whizzing past him and out the door, dropping his jacket along the way. Good Louis thinks. It was a nice fucking jacket. It was the thing that drew Louis to him in the first place. It's Louis' now. 

When they hear the front door slam shut, there's a slight pause and then both Louis and Niall are laughing their heads off. It's shameless, really. Maybe they should care about the mans feelings but doing it this way is always too fun. 

"Fuck Niall, you're the best," Louis says between laughing. 

"You're lucky I love you"

"And I love you! You have no idea, that guy was such a jerk, and he was getting too clingy just moments after I orgasmed."

"Woah, mate! Too much information."

They've stopped laughing now and Louis knows Niall is about to get serious. He always does. 

"Tommo, you have to stop doing this to these poor blokes. What's gotten into you? You haven't tried to have a relationship with anyone since that Kevin guy."

"That Kevin guy was an asshole. Plus, I go out looking for these one nightstand I don't go out looking for a relationship. Fuck that." 

Louis could mention that the sex isn't that great and he'd much rather have an alien sex god fucking him, but Niall still doesn't know about that, and it'd be too much information anyways.

Louis is forever grateful for his best friend. They're only been living together a little over 6 months, but it's the best decision he's ever made. 

~

After Niall left for work at the organic coffee house down the road, Louis had about 4 hours before he had to leave for work himself. He used his time efficiently by sleeping for most of it. He regrets nothing. 

Luckily Louis doesn't have a hangover. He's been doing the whole one nightstand thing long enough now that he knows when to stop drinking and he knows to have heaps of water before bed. He downs two aspirin just to be sure though. 

Louis has a quick morning shower making sure to clean off any trace of the guy who fucked him hours earlier. He chucks on a black sheer t-shirt and pairs it with his black skinny jeans and his favourite pair of vans. 

He doesn't start work until 9, so he decided to pay Niall a little visit and maybe get a nice tea before work. 

When he enters Organic Jo's Coffee he spot Liam sitting at the corner table, head down, pen up and eyebrows creased. 

"Payno, my man! How's the kids?"

Liam doesn't even look up from where he's clearly marking student essays. He was lucky enough to score a job as a teacher aid for a couple of music classes taught at the local university. Out of the four of them, Liam was the only one to actually study and get a degree. Except for Zayn, but he dropped out after 1 year. To Zayn, smoking pot was a lot more important. Louis is a little jealous of Liam sometimes. He only had to study 2 years to get where he is right now. Louis was never one to pay attention long enough to study something, so for now, he's stuck working at a dodgy music shop where he's lucky if they get one customer a day. 

"What the hell are you doing here so early?" 

"I've got work in a bit, thought I'd pop in and get a tea," Louis tells Liam, who still hasn't looked up from his work in front of him. "Why are you stuck marking essays? Shouldn't that be the teachers job?"

"Well yeah, but this is a 'learning experience'," He pauses his marking to do air quotes and everything, annoyance clearly written on his face. 

"That sucks. Tell the teacher to get fucked next time, from me." Louis smiles cheekily. 

From that Louis successfully gets a small smile out of Liam. Mission accomplished. 

"Where is that Irish bastard?" Louis looks around seeing if he can spot Niall, and of course he see's him leaning over the till flirting with some bird who looks like she's in her mid 30's and works for a law company, and is busting to get out of the conversation she is currently having. Niall may have a type. 

"Niall, leave the poor girl alone!" Louis shouts

"You're one to fucking talk Tommo!" 

It's true. Similar words were spoken to him earlier that morning. Oh well. 

"Can I please get my usual?"

Louis' little interruption gave the girl enough time to get away. He smiles at her on her way out and she gives a little thank you nod in return. She clearly wasn't interested. 

"Thanks. I was going to marry that girl."

"No you weren't, you were scaring her."

"Can you guys please stop shouting across the room, I'm trying to work here" Liam raises his voice a little in frustration. 

"Woah, someones a little grumpy. Has Zayn not been giving it to you good lately?" Niall thinks he's soooo funny. He even laughs at his own little joke. 

It's been about a year since Liam and Zayn became a thing. Louis is pretty sure it was the night about a year ago when they went camping that they made it official. Louis and Niall both heard them fucking in the tent. He really wishes he didn't hear it, he still has nightmares. If only he could have been suspended in time so he didn't hear anything, just like the lads were when Harry was fucking him. Ah, Harry. He misses Harry. He probably thinks about him everyday. He most certainly has nice dreams about Harry from time to time. 

"Ha ha, very funny Niall." Liam is clearly not having it today. He looks stressed. As soon as Niall gets his tea, Louis is out of there. 

"Hey, you boys want to go camping again? It's been too long. My brother said we can borrow his camper, we don't have to rough it too much this time. I think we could all need the break." Niall asks hopefully, almost like he was just in Louis' mind. 

Louis really doesn't want to go camping again though. He would go if he was guaranteed a visit from Harry, but he knows that wont happen unless he is sexually frustrated. Maybe he should try and get sexually frustrated again. He could go a year without sex, right? Hmm, maybe not, but he can always try. 

"I'm not having sex for a year!" Louis declares in the middle of their conversation about camping. 

Liam drops his pen to look at Louis. Confusion written all over his face. "What does that have to do with camping?"

"Ah, I mean, no I would not like to go camping again, AND i've decided to not have sex for a year. I just decided then. Two completely different, unrelated thoughts." Louis gives his most award winning smile to convince the two lads he is being serious. 

He hasn't told anyone about Harry, and he doesn't plan on it. It's his little secret. 

"Tommo! Your tea." Niall waves the tea at him. 

Louis thanks Niall for his tea and says his goodbye to Liam. He may be a little late for work now, he spent too much time chatting, but it's not like anyone comes in, and he's the only one working there, so it's not like anyone will yell at him.

"Louis!" Liam calls out to him and stops him on his way out the door, "Zayn said he's stopping by today, to ah...go through some gear."

"He didn't say those words though did he Liam? Because I'm pretty sure you used the term 'gear' wrong. Unless Zayn is into the hard stuff now?" 

"Oh god no. He said he was stopping by to smoke some pot with you." Liam clarifies with a whisper. 

"So no gear?"

"Ah, I don't think so?" Liam phrases his sentence like a question, having never done any type of drugs before. 

Zayn and him are an odd mix. Liam is all serious and into work, books, and doing the right thing. Zayn on the other hand is completely different. Drugs, music...not doing work. They're odd, but they love each other and they obviously work somehow. 

Louis laughs at Liam's innocents, but he wouldn't have it any other way. Liam is just as much of a best friend as Niall is. 

"I'll see ya Liam."

And with that, Louis is out the door, tea in hand and nearing 10 minutes late for work. 

~

The morning at work is slow, but that's nothing new. Louis accepts a few orders of CD's and puts them straight out to the shop floor, he tidies up the records a bit, and then kicks back behind the front counter, shamelessly kicking his feet up next to the till. Just a normal day. 

By 1 o'clock he's only had one customer who was only there to browse and buys absolutely nothing. Louis wonders how in the hell Ben keeps this store running with how bad the sales are. All Louis knows is that Ben is a douche and as long as he gets paid, he wont ask questions. 

He's in the middle of his 100th game of Bejewelled when the door bell chimes and in walks Zayn, wearing his usual get up of a band t-shirt, skinny jeans and hair beautifully shaved on the side. He's also grinning like a maniac. Great, the fucker started without me, Louis thinks and evil eyes Zayn. 

"Zayn, you got the gear?" Louis teases. 

"What? Fuck no, I just got the weed."

Louis just laughs. No use explaining that one to Zayn. 

They head out into the back room, keeping the door open a jar so Louis can hear if the front door chimes. 

Louis loves when Zayn pays a visit with some weed. They always have the best conversation and in a way it's a break from life. Louis doesn't particularly hate his life, but he always wondered about things. Like if he did go to uni, would he have a better job, a better apartment, a boyfriend perhaps? It's the same life questions they always ask when they smoke. Sometimes Zayn brings up aliens and space, but Louis is always quick to change the subject. He doesn't want to tell Zayn about Harry and he's always afraid he might slip up while he's high. 

"Man I could go for a burger," Louis has a nice buzz going, but he's starting to get hungry not having eaten anything all day. Zayn just laughs at him. "Go get us some burgers, I can't leave the fucking store." Louis giggles because Zayn wont stop laughing. 

Zayn doesn't answer him, but he up and leaves anyway. Louis assumes he's going to get food. If he doesn't come back in an hour Louis might just have to eat his own foot. 

He's still siting in the back room contemplating life when the door chimes again. He thinks maybe it's just Zayn forgetting something, but when he stands up to look he see's a mop of curly brown hair slide behind a shelf. Hmm, that's odd. Two customers in a day. Fucking weird. 

He fixes himself up, trying to make himself presentable and making sure he's not smelling too much of weed and stumbles out to the front desk. He's feeling very content right now, but thoughts of a burger linger in the back of his mind. Hurry up Zayn. 

He's just staring off into space when he hears someone clear their throat. 

"Ah excuse me." The voice is deep, and oddly soothing. 

Louis smiles, turning his head to face the person clearly trying to get his attention. 

Louis' eyes go wide and his smiles drops when he sees who's in front of him. It's Harry. It's fucking Harry. What the fuck? Louis isn't sexually frustrated, he just had sex last night. Fuck. Maybe it's the weed. Maybe it's stronger than Louis thought. Is Louis hallucinating? Oh god, Louis fucking hopes not. It's Harry. 

"Do you work here?"

Harry is talking to him, but Louis can't stop staring. He's dreamed about meeting Harry again the moment he left Louis in the woods all naked and freshly fucked. He should say something about that. He should beg Harry to stay this time. He's still so beautiful. 

"Please stay?" Louis asks, voice slightly cracking. 

"Uh, sorry?" 

"I know you're an alien and you live on Athea and all that but maybe you could stay?"

Harry laughs. That beautiful laugh Louis has missed so much. They spent no more than an hour together in the woods all those months ago, but Louis honestly missed him. He missed looking at him. 

"You're funny." He laughs some more. Louis is still staring. Does Harry not remember? "Look, I was just wondering if I could sell a few of my CD's here. Like maybe I could put a few on the front desk and see how they go?" 

What the fuck is he taking about. Louis just looks at him, tilting his head slightly as if to ask 'what the fuck?'. He doesn't have a chance to voice his thoughts out loud though, because Harry is speaking again. 

"Sorry, let me start again." Harry clears his throat, straightens his back and holds out his hand to shake. "My name is Harry Styles, I live near by and I'm in a band called White Eskimo and I was wondering if I could sell some my CD's on your front counter here." He finishes his life story and gestures to the space he wishes to put his CD's. 

Louis doesn't say anything, he just looks at Harry. In his mind he keeps thinking, _Harry, alien, sex alien, Harry Harry Harry._ Before Louis can say anything Harry starts walking away. Too much time has past of just Louis staring at him and he obviously wants to get away from this crazy person; being Louis. Louis can't let Harry go, not again. 

"Wait!" Louis calls. Harry turns back around a little confused, but with a tiny smile on his face. "Don't you know who I am?" 

"Sorry, you didn't introduce yourself."

What? Harry doesn't know who he is? Could harry be real. What if this is the real Harry that Alien Harry based himself off. If that's even what he did in the first place. He said what Louis was seeing was what Louis liked, and what he thought was hot. 

"Louis." He says after a beat or two. Well he guesses this is not Sex Alien Harry but a legit human person that looks and sounds like Sex Alien Harry. Ahh, this is confusing. 

"So how about it, Louis? Mind if I sell my CD's here?"

"I'm really high right now." Louis tries to play off the last few minutes of weirdness on the weed. 

Harry giggles. "Hah, it's alright. I thought you were acting a little odd, even though I don't know you so that could be you normally. It was funny, I was really hoping it wasn't you normally though, I was starting to get a bit freaked to be honest." Harry rambles, smiling shyly. 

So just to be clear this isn't Sex Alien Harry, but Human Harry. Okay, Louis can deal with this. He just has to start over. Maybe woo the lad. He is hot as fuck that's for sure. 

"You can sell your CD's here. How many you got?"

"I have 10, but you don't have to buy them all."

"Okay, Harry of White Eskimo, " Louis is totally on his game now that he is accepting the fact this was a new Harry and not the one from a year ago. "I'll take 5. How much?"

"Oh great! $10 each, so $50."

Harry gets closer again as Louis takes the money from the till and hands it to Harry. Harry places the CD's on the counter. Louis pick one up and see's Harry standing at the front of his band, all of them posing with their instruments. It's a little cliche, but he doesn't say anything. Harry is just too cute. 

"Singer, ay?"

"Yeah, been in this band since high school. We finally got our first album recorded."

"Cute."

"Ah, thanks" Harry blushes at the complement. 

"I'll let you know if we sell any. Got a number or something?" 

Louis is most definitely not flirting. Okay, maybe he is a little. No one needs to know. 

"Sure, that would be great."

Harry jots down his number on the little note pad next to the till. He signs it with a smiley face and writes his full name, Harry Styles, above the number. 

Louis promises to text if any sell, and with that Harry gives a polite thank you and he's out the door. 

Louis releases a breathe he didn't realise he had been holding.

"What the fuck Harry?" he says quietly to himself while looking up. He doesn't know which Harry he is saying what the fuck to, but one of them needs to know what is going on. 

He really hopes one of Harry's CD's sell soon. He desperately wants any excuse to text him. 

~

Zayn never did come back with food, so by the time 4 o'clock rolled around Louis was starving. He decided to stop and get pizza for him and Niall on his way home. 

He spent most of the afternoon thinking about Harry and wondering how this was possible. The boy that came into the store today looked, talked, and smelled exactly the same as Alien Harry did. It's just plain weird. 

When he got in with the pizzas, Niall's just sitting on the couch watching some weird reality TV show, but as soon as he smells the pizza he's up and bouncing toward Louis. 

"Fucking legend!" he cries taking the pizzas out of Louis' hand. 

Louis still has Harry on his mind that he hardly notices the pizza gone. 

"You okay, Louis? You look like you've seen a ghost."

"Uh, yeah i'm good just still a bit high is all."

Louis is long since high, he's just really hungry and Harry is playing on his mind. He doesn't know how any of this is possible and he really wants to see the boy again. Human Harry that is. 

He thinks about telling Niall, but doesn't want to sound crazy. He needs to talk to someone though. Perhaps he'll just sleep on it first. 

Louis scoffs down half a pizza and takes himself to bed. He doesn't bother to shower, he can do that in the morning. He's too confused, and slightly happy in a weird way to do anything but lay down. 

~

Louis didn't sleep much. He probably managed to get around 2 hours of sleep by the time he closed his eyes. Harry was on his mind all night. The boy was so beautiful and Louis would really love to get to know him some more. 

So he heads to work feeling a little worse for wear. Niall has already left for his morning shift at the coffee house, but he doesn't bother to stop by this time. He just keeps going to Ben's Music & Videos. Why it's called that he has no idea. They only really sell music and it's just a terrible shop all together. It should be called something like Ben Sucks. Louis doesn't know. Louis doesn't care. He's tired as fuck. Human Harry ruined his sleep. Fucking Harry. 

The day is the same as usual, there's nothing new to report. The only change is that Louis bought one of Harry's CD's. He should have done that yesterday. 

~

All week Louis has been falling asleep to White Eskimo. Harry's voice putting him to sleep; in a good way. He enjoys the music very much. Too much. 

~

_Harry takes him into his mouth, while simultaneously working him opening with his fingers. Louis doesn't remember getting the lube, but his hole is dripping with it. While harry sucks him down and works him open, Harry is stood over Louis' head and is nudging his dick against Louis' mouth. Hang on. How could Harry be going down on his dick and also politely asking Louis to suck him off._

_Oh. OH._

_Alien Harry and Human Harry. Fuck. This is too good to be true._

_Alien Harry is three fingers deep. His self lubricating fingers doing their job nicely. Louis grants Human Harry access to his mouth. His dick sliding in like Louis mouth was a perfect pocket made for holding Harry's dick. Harry starts to trust gently. Louis has to control himself as not to trust up into Alien Harry's mouth, even though he knows he wouldn't mind._

_The sensation is too good, Louis moans around Human Harry's dick._

_For a while that's all they do, Louis just sucks and licks at Human Harry's dick. He can see Human Harry's knees getting weak from crouching over Louis's face. Louis pulls off to give him a moment._

_As if both were reading each other mind, Alien Harry stops sucking Louis. For a moment Louis is a little disappointed that the sensation stopped. But Alien Harry still has three fingers inside him, slowing pumping in and out. Human Harry moves down Louis body, positioning himself over Louis, his mouth where Alien Harry's had just been. Human Harry takes Louis' member in whole. Louis lets out a moan. Human Harry's dick is just centimetres from his face, but before Louis can get to it Alien Harry is sticking his tongue along side his fingers. Louis throws his head back crying out in pleasure._

_Louis tries to look down at what's going on. All he can feel is his orgasm building. It feels like it's only been seconds since they started this, but he's not going to last much longer._

_Human Harry starts bobbing up and down on his dick, using his hand to cover what his mouth can't._

_Alien Harry licks and kisses along side his fingers at his hole. He curves his fingers a little. Louis screams. His prostate. Louis is seeing stars._

_He knows both Alien Harry and Human Harry can tell he is close. He can feel both of them smirking against his sensitive areas where they have been paying special attention to._

_Alien Harry doesn't let up jabbing his prostate occasional licking his hole. Jab, after jab, after jab. Louis' whole body jerks as he cums down Human Harry's throat. Human Harry just hums in approval._

_Human Harry lifts off for the last bit, a bit of cum landing on Louis' stomach. Alien Harry pulls his fingers out slowly. Louis feels the sensation around sensitive hole._

_Human Harry gets off him and leaves the room. Louis assumes he's getting something to clean Louis. But Alien Harry then sits up from between Louis' legs and licks the remaining cum off Louis' belly._

_God that's so fucking hot. Alien Harry starts biting and licking his way up Louis' chest sitting heavily on Louis pelvis. If Alien Harry doesn't stop soon, he's going to be hard again._

_Louis looks down to where Alien Harry is sitting. He is fully clothed. Hmm that's weird. Louis could have sworn he was naked before. Wait a minute. He's fully clothed too. That's not right. Alien Harry is hovering over his face now just staring at him._

_"Louis wake up"_

_Wake up? What the fuck does that mean..._

Louis wakes up with a start. A heavy weight is sitting on him and he can feel wetness in his boxes. Fuck. He knew it was too good to be true. 

"What the fuck!" Louis cries and pushes Alien Harry off him. Or Human Harry. Actually he doesn't know which Harry this is. 

He sits up in his bed and looks down at his sweat soaked t-shirt, evidence of a great dream. The wetness in his boxes a clear sign too. 

"You've been thinking about me too much I can feel it," Harry snaps him out of his thoughts. 

"Just so we're clear, you're an alien. And you're from Athea?" Louis just needs to be sure. He's pretty sure Human Harry wouldn't be standing in his room right now hovering over him in bed. He doesn't even know where Louis lives. He doesn't even know Louis. 

"Yes. You've been thinking about me too much you need to stop. You're ruining me."

"I'm ruining you? You're ruining me!" Louis almost shouts.

"No one ever thinks about their sex experience as much as you've been. They maybe do it 3 to 5 times a year, but i've been on your mind non stop for the past week."

Louis' mind goes straight to Human Harry, He's been thinking more about him if he's being honest.

"Another Harry?"

Shit. Louis forgot Alien Harry could read minds. Fucking great. 

"Shouldn't you know all this already?" As much as Louis is grateful Alien Harry is here, and as much as he wants him to fuck him right now, he also doesn't really understand why he is here. In his bedroom. On a Thursday night. Asking him about Human Harry.

"I can only read minds when i'm in the same room as you. I know. It sucks. But I can feel when one of my past clients are thinking about me, and it boosts my charisma and self esteem. But you've been thinking way too much of me that I can't stop thinking about you and it's ruining me!"

Ignoring the fact he was just referred to as a 'client', Louis smirks up at Harry "So..." Louis starts, "Ready for round two?"

"No. Who's this other Harry?"

Louis obviously needs to sharpen his alien flirting techniques. Alien Harry is having none of it today. 

"You can tell me or I can read your mind?" Harry says, reminding him of his unfair advantage in this conversation. 

He may as well tell him. He wont be able to go another 5 minutes without thinking about the boy who walked into his music store only a few days ago. 

"Well there is this boy. He walked into my shop the other day and he looks, talks...smells like you, He is you. except he's not, because I'm about 99% sure he's human."

"He's not me." Harry say matter of factly.

Yeah no shit, Louis thinks. He knows it's not Alien Harry because he wouldn't be having this conversation if it was.

"This is odd," Harry continues after a beat. "This has never happened before. Harry is real?"

"Looks like it." Louis hopes Alien Harry here can give him some answers before he goes out of his mind. 

"You need to stop thinking about me."

Great now it's all about Alien Harry again. 

"I literally can't. The sex we had was amazing and then this other Harry just comes into my shop one day, and I'm sure he was real, but then again I was high so what if I made him up."

"I don't think you made him up. I can see the scenario in your head play out crystal clear."

"Okay then, tell me what the hell I do?" Louis is tired, his pants are wet, and he's pretty sure he has work in 2 hours. He has half a mind to wake Niall up right now so he can see this. Half a mind. He doesn't need Niall knowing how fucked up and weird his life is. 

"Looks like your ideal person is real. There's nothing I can do."

Is Alien Harry serious right now? The fuck he means there's nothing he can do. He can't just leave Louis hanging like this. 

"Can you please stop referring to me as 'Alien Harry' it's rude."

"What do I call you?"

"On my home planet I go by the name Marcel when I'm in my true form."

"Fine. Marcel." Louis just wants answers. Or sleep. Or both. He's had enough. 

"I'll leave you to sleep now. But I'm staying until you stop your brain from thinking about me."

Before Louis can ask how the hell he's suppose to do that. Marcel rubs his thumb and index finger together like Louis has seen him do before. In a blink of an eye Marcel is no longer human. There is a stripy brown cat meowing on the floor next to his bed. 

Fucking great. Louis now has a cat. 

~

Finally, it's Friday. The week seeming to go slower than most. Louis thought about texting Harry ever since he bought his album on Tuesday, but he just can't work up the guts. What do you say to someone you don't know and have only talked to for less than 5 minutes? _[Hi you look like an alien I had sex with a year ago and you're really fucking hot and I would love to get to know some more because I can't stop thinking about you. Or alien you, I'm not sure which. Coffee?]_ No Louis' pretty sure that wont go down that well. 

He'll just have to settle for texting him sales reports on his CD. Which they've only sold one...that Louis himself bought. 

This whole situation is weird and Louis is now stuck with a cat with the biggest fucking eyes he has ever since. If he's being completely honest, it sorta looks like Harry a bit. 

Marcel, is a noisy little thing. Louis isn't sure if he can understand him or not seeing as it's a cat, but there is no other way for Louis to communicate with it. So Louis talks to it freely as if it's a human. Or alien. Whatever. 

This morning when he was feeding the thing, Niall came out of his room and asked him what the fuck it was. Louis was quick to mumble an excuse that he found it on his way home. He didn't get more creative than that, but Niall believed him. He didn't ask anymore questions thank god. 

Louis is damn keen to drink tonight that's for sure. He hates this week and never wants to live it again. Just as he shoots off a text to the lads informing them of a boys night, the bell above the door chimes for the first time that day. 

In walks Harry. 

"Harry," Louis almost shouts in surprise.

Harry looks taken a back. "You ah..you remembered me."

"Kinda hard not to, your album is sitting on my front counter here and your pretty face just so happens to be on it." 

Harry blushes and looks down at the CD's on the counter. "Oh, um thank you. Hey! you sold one. You should have called."

Harry smiles at him and he could have sworn he just saw Harry wink as well. 

"Well I have a confession to make Harold." Too soon to be giving nicknames? Nah, Harry is too pretty not have a cute nickname. "The person who bought your CD is a bit of an idiot."

"Oh? How so?"

"See, he bought the CD the day after you left and has been listening to it every night because the lead singers voice is just too pretty not to."

Louis leans forward crossing his arms and resting them on the counter top. He's activated prime flirting stance. 

"He's been too busy listening to it and adopting a new cat that he forgot to text." Louis wont mention anything about all this alien shit fucking with his brain for the past week and the fact he was too scared to text Harry because he had no idea what to say. He should have just done it. 

Harry giggles. He giggles. 

"That's okay, I forgive you."

"Who says it was me?"

They look at each other for a moment, both with huge flirty smiles on their faces. Harry is the first to break the eye contact. His smiles not leaving his face. 

"Do you want to come watch my band play live tonight. We're playing locally. You don't have to if you're busy, or have plans, or don't want to go out, it's whatever." Harry waves his hand around like it's nothing. 

"I'd love to."

"Really?" Harry looks surprised that Louis was so quick to say yes.

"Yeah, why not. I was planning a lads night out anyways. You know, it's whatever." Louis waves his hand the same way Harry just did. 

"Great! Bring as many people as you like, the bigger the crowd the better we play." This time Louis definitely sees a wink. 

Louis likes this Harry. He's cute, cheeky and is shamelessly flirting with Louis right back. They don't fully know each other, but Louis would really like to change that. 

~

The longest week in the history of long weeks just got a whole lot better. Louis was buzzing on his way home. He just hoped he didn't misinterpret any signals he was sure Harry was sending his way. 

Harry stayed a little longer. They chatted a bit, mostly banter back and forth but it was nice and they got along great. 

Harry jotted down details of his gig that night on the same notepad he wrote his number on at the start of the week. Again, he signed it with a little smiley face. 

Louis let the boys know on the update in venue. Even thought they never really agreed to anywhere in the first place, he knew he had to get in quick before one of the other guys had their heart set on somewhere. There were no complaint within the tribe. Thank god. 

He made sure to pick up some food for Marcel on his way home; when he opened the door, sure enough the cat was meowing at his feet. 

God Louis hates this. Why doesn't Marcel just transform back into human form and go find food himself. He's just being stubborn; teaching Louis a lesson and what not. 

To be fair, Louis hasn't thought much about Marcel today. He still thinks about him, and with that dream fresh on his mind it's really hard not to. 

But thankfully, he has a sorta date with Harry tonight. Okay it's not a date because Niall, Zayn and Liam will be there and Harry will be playing on the stage and he probably wont talk to Louis much. Okay it's really really not a date. Just a bro hangout. 

It's 5 o'clock. Louis has three hours to decide what to wear, and he's going to need every last second of it. 

~

They show up at The Grouse Moose around 8:45pm. Louis had texted Harry to say they were out the front. He texted back not long after telling them to go get a seat and that White Eskimo would be on after the band that was playing now. 

It was a nice bar. Louis had been there many times before. He may be semi familiar with a lot of the bar staff, but no one needs to know that. 

Bands are always playing, but he can't say he's ever seen Harry there before. 

They all get their drinks and find a table in the back. It's the only one with enough seats for the three of them. Yep. It's only Louis, Zayn and Niall. Liam decided to stay in because he still had a lot of marking to do. It was like he was back in school all over again. He was picking them up later though, so that was a bonus. 

"So, what's his name?" Niall asks as soon as they were all seated.

"Huh?"

"The boy we're here to see."

"Oh." Oh, yeah there was no keeping this from these two. And Louis has no shame. He likes Harry. 

"Harry. He's lead singer of White Eskimo."

"Nice. When are they on?" 

As if on queue the band currently on the stage finishes their set and a round of applause spreads throughout the room. They leave the stage. Harry's band take their place.

"Now." Louis says shushing Niall. 

Louis doesn't pay attention to anything but Harry for next 15 minutes. His voice resonating through the pub as much as ones voice can resonate in a...pub. It's beautiful, and deep and they way Harry works the stage is mesmerising. There isn't an area of that stage Harry doesn't touch. He looks into everyones eyes as he sings and he even some how found Louis' eyes all the way in the back. 

Harry looks beautiful. He's wearing a black sheer button up, with a red floral design that hangs loosely on his body, and only three buttons done up to show a little chest. His long legs are in tight skinny jeans that seem to go on for days.

In the blink of an eye it's over and a new band replaces White Eskimo. Louis is sad. 

He's had a bit to drink by the time Harry makes it to their table. He walks over, drink in hand and gives a polite wave of the hand to the other boys he doesn't know. 

"Harry this is, Niall and this is Zayn." Louis introduces them. "Liam couldn't make it tonight because he is an old man and he smells."

Harry snorts in the middle of taking a sip of his drink. Alcohol almost goes everywhere. Almost.

"Might wanna slow down there." Niall makes a clearly unnecessary comment. Louis death stares him. Harry can drink as much as he like. 

"Hey, didn't you say your new cats name was Harry?" Niall still with the unnecessary talking. 

"What? No. I didn't say that. Why would my cats name be Harry when this is Harry right here. I said Marcel. The cat's name is Marcel." Shit. Did Louis call the cat Harry this morning? That would be very bad if he did. No one can know what that cat really is. Ever. 

"You boys like the show?" Harry politely ignores the weirdness. 

"Yeah, 'was fucking sick!"

Harry makes light conversation for a while. Talking about his band and music. Niall does the most asking and answering of question. Zayn just listens, and Louis just stares at Harry, taking it all in. 

Two more bands play before The Grouse Moose dim the lights some more, turn on the disco lights, pump up the disco beats and turn the dodgy stage area into a make shift dance floor. 

"Wanna dance?"

Louis is taken aback. Harry wants to dance with him? He's feeling pretty drunk and doesn't think he can control himself if things get dirty. But Harry seems to be the same level of drunk as he is right now, seeing as he managed to keep up with Louis. 

"Okay."

Louis necks the rest of his drink and slams it on the table. Harry is quick to do the same, grabbing Louis' wrist then proceeding to lead him to the dance flood. 

If doesn't take long before they're grinding up on each other. Louis slips his leg between Harry's thighs. The movement feeling more natural than most. 

The song that's playing is pretty up beat and it's easy to keep a steady grind going. 

Harry leans down to whisper in Louis' ear. It feels like everyone is looking at them, but he doesn't care. Not one bit. 

"Can I kiss you?"

Louis lets out a small gasp. Words getting stuck in his throat. Yes. God yes. Let's make out right now. Now. NOW. 

But he doesn't say anything, he just gives a slight nod. So Harry pulls back a little as he looks down into Louis' eyes. 

They inch forward, getting closer and closer to each other every second. They keep eye contact, the kiss moments from happening. They're so close now, Louis can feel Harry's breath against his lips. He shuts his eyes in anticipation. 

Just as he closes his eye, a strong hand is on his shoulder pulling him away. His eye shoot back open in an instant. He sees Harry do the same. A small frown of disappointment on his face. 

"Mate, we have to go, Liam is here to pick us up and you know he wont wait around forever."

Really Niall. REALLY REALLY. You had to choose this fucking moment to pull Louis away. Could he have waited 5 more seconds. Honestly. 

Louis isn't mad. He's just disappointed. He looks at Harry one more time and mouths a polite 'sorry'. 

"It's okay, i'll text you." Harry shouts over the music and gives a sly wink.

Why does he always wink. It's way too hot. Louis is getting turned on by a wink. Okay, it may have been the grinding they were doing moments earlier, but no one needs to know. 

Harry turns away and walks over to his band mates that he abandoned at the beginning of the night. 

Niall drags Louis out the front to where Liam is waiting for them. Zayn having already claimed the front seat. 

"I hate you Niall, I hope you know that." Louis makes sure Niall knows this before hoping into the car.

Niall just laughs. 

How can Louis hate Niall. 

~ 

Getting to sleep that night was easy. He fell asleep dreaming of Harry Styles, the human boy who walked into his life less than a week ago. No thoughts of the alien, Marcel. 

However he did have a repeat of the night before. The same dream involving a threesome between him, Harry and Marcel. Except this time Louis wakes to the cat licking him face. Gross. 

So apparently he can't get Marcel off his mind either. Great.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't even know what this fic is anymore :/ Keep with me though, because there is an ending and a lot more weird things can and will happen. 
> 
> tvfeels.tumblr.com 
> 
> Chapter Song: Fantasy by MS MR


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This last chapter is dedicated to the 28 subscribers to this fic - you gave me some what motivation to actually finish this.
> 
> I'm never writing a crackfic again as it has scarred me for life. I'm sorry for writing this please forgive me. 
> 
> Thanks to Diana again and again and million more times. She helped me with the smut in this chapter when it was too scary for my poor soul.

"Harold!" Louis cries across the not so crowed shop floor. 

He shouldn't be so surprised, or so happy to see Harry walk into Ben's Music & Video on this fine Wednesday morning, but he is, because it's Harry, and he's here to see him for the third time this week. 

It's been a week and a half since that eventful, turned uneventful, night where Harry and Louis found themselves in an almost kiss situation. Neither one of them has talked about it, but they both know each other knows what almost happened. Louis is just waiting for the right time to...try again, perhaps. He doesn't know, but it'd be too awkward to bring it up now, that's for sure. 

They've been hanging out a lot. Well, more like Harry has been coming to visit Louis at Ben's. They go on unofficial mini lunch and coffee dates. Louis just shuts the store, sticking a sign that reads 'back in an hour' on the door, and happily walks away with Harry to wherever he feels like taking Louis that day. 

It's mostly the cafe down the road. A couple of times Harry found places where they sell something that has been dubbed the 'best in the state', just so they could be the judge of it themselves. Once it was Jo's Organic Coffee, but Louis vows never to go there again with Harry for as long as he lives. Niall just wouldn't stop being a little shit, and quite frankly, embarrassing him in front of Harry. Harry didn't seem to mind though. He's good like that; always seeing the best in people and not seeing how nosy and rude people are being...i.e. Niall. 

However, today Harry seems to have other plans. He's carrying a large picnic basket with a blanket slung over the top. 

"What's with the picnic basket, Harry?" Louis asks suspiciously as he puts the last of the new arrival CDs on display. 

"Take a lucky guess." 

He's almost too happy in the way he answers. If Harry thinks Louis is going to sit on the grass surrounded by ants and bugs to eat lunch, well, he obviously doesn't know him very well. 

"You're carrying food for us to eat right here in the store right now. No need to go outside."

Harry just rolls his eyes.

"Come on Lou, it's a nice day out. Look at the sky." He jesters to outside. 

Technically, Louis nor Harry can see the sky from where they are, but Louis is probably missing the point. 

"I don't know Harry, it looked like it was going to rain last time I checked."

Harry just pouts. He pouts. It's so adorable that at that point Louis thinks he'll do anything for the boy. If he keeps pouting like that, Louis would kill someone if Harry asked him to. 

Although he has already made up his mind, and he won’t put up much more of a fight, Louis still wants to see Harry beg a little more. 

"Convince me." He simply says, prompting Harry to give him more than 'it's a nice day'.

"Please! You'll love it. I even brought a picnic blanket so we don't have to sit on the grass."

"Hmmm...” Louis pretends like he's thinking just so Harry will go on.

"And...everything in this basket I made myself."

"I said convince me. Not scare me Harold! How do I know you're not going to poison me?"

"Lou, come on."

Ah. And there's that pout again.

"Fine. You win. Now stop pouting before I do something I really don't want to do. That pout will get you almost anywhere, I swear." Louis shakes his head with an accompanying grin on his face. 

Harry just smiles. His happy little smile. 

Fuck, Harry is cute. And beautiful. And hot. How can one person be all those things and more. 

~

They set up under a tree a little off to the side and away from families. 

Harry wasn't kidding when he said he made everything in the basket. They were mini quiches, freshly squeezed lemonade, little cookies in the shape of hearts and chocolate rum balls. Louis was practically drooling at the site. 

Harry watches him survey the banquet placed in front of him, his eyes don't leave Louis, as Louis' eyes don't leave the food. 

"Wow, this is incredible, Harry."

"It's nothing. I love to cook."

Harry hands him a cookie. He takes it with added enthusiasm; it's still warm. 

Harry watches him as he takes a bite of the cookie, Louis can't help but moan in delight. The cookie is warm in his mouth. He is in heaven. 

After a long moan Louis opens his eyes to look at Harry. He can see the redness fading in Harry's cheek from where he'd been blushing. 

Harry blinks a few times, trying to gather himself. Louis doesn't miss the way he shuffles around, subtly adjusting himself. 

"You alright, Harry?" Louis tease. 

"Yeah, I-I um...” He clears his throat before he continues. "I'd love to cook for you. I mean, I mean for real. Like dinner maybe." 

Is Harry asking him out on a real date? About bloody time after that almost kiss. Maybe they can pick up from where they left off, Louis thinks, keeping his thoughts to himself. 

"I'd love that." Louis doesn't feel like making Harry anymore nervous then he already is. Louis is just as nervous, but he's not the one asking the question. "What can you cook?"

"Anything you like."

"How about pasta, I love pasta." Louis answers with a smile.   
~ 

They finish their lunch, and part ways in the park. They agreed on tonight for the master chef show and tell dinner date. Yep, they both discussed it as if it was a date. So it's officially a date. 

It's a little weird though. Harry's house mates are having some role play night that Harry refuses to go to because of what happened last time. He was very vague about it, not telling Louis the details. 

So Louis offered up his kitchen to cook in. Harry is cooking dinner for him, in his kitchen. It's like Harry taking Louis on a date but Louis paying. Except it's nothing like that because Harry is cooking Louis pasta. 

After his shift at work he rushes home to clean up the apartment and kick Niall out of the house.

"Have fun, mate." Niall winks and leaves for Liam and Zayn's. His cackle can be heard fading in the distance. 

Fucking Niall. Louis is so grateful for Niall. 

After the kitchen is spotless, his room neatly set up for any visitors, and himself clean to perfection. There's only one this left for Louis to do. It's time to sit the cat down for a talk. 

He caught Marcel mid lick of his genitals.

"Gross."

The cat looks up as if to say 'stop judging me I’m a cat'. Louis can just picture those words coming straight from the mouth of the alien to be honest. 

"Okay, here's the deal. Harry is coming over. The real Harry."

The cat hisses.

"Oh come on, you know you're not the real Harry. He's coming over because we have a date, so I need you to behave yourself. If you don't, I’m going to lock you in the bathroom. Got it?"

The cat hisses again, but this time with an added sigh. 

Louis hopes that settles it. 

"Why the hell are you still here."

"MEOOWWWW!" Marcel lets out a big wail simultaneously with the knock at the door. 

"Shit, it's Harry. Act Normal." He tells the cat. 

Marcel just arches his back, hisses and scurries off into Louis' bedroom. 

Louis opens the door.

Harry looks stunning. He's dressed in all black accompanied with the most stunning black jacket with a mesmerising embroidered gold pattern. Louis feels underdressed in his skinny jeans and polka dot button up compared.

"Wow, you look incredible."

"So do you." 

They're both grinning from ear to ear, locked in an enchanted stare with each other. 

It's Harry that breaks their bubble. 

"Are you gonna let me in, because I am starving."

"Oh, yeah of course. Here let me help you."

Louis lets go of the door to help take some bags from Harry and let him past. 

He shows him to the kitchen and Harry seems to be very pleased with what he sees. 

"I can definitely work with this."

It's not long before Harry is using the kitchen like he owns it, and kicking Louis out whenever he gets too close to the food. Harry wants this to be all him. All for Louis. As he put it. 

Louis uses his time to watch Harry as he works. He loves seeing him in his little apron that might be a little on the feminine side, scattered with flowers. It's adorable

~

The dinner was mind blowing to say the least. Harry sure can cook. Louis wants to die. That's how good it was. 

They settle on the couch to eat dessert. Louis bringing out chocolate ice cream with extra magic chocolate topping. They each have a bowl full of it. They don't hesitate to get stuck in. 

"The dinner was amazing, Harry." Louis says mouth full of ice cream, a bit of topping dripping out the corner of his mouth. "I'm just..you're always surprising me. I can put the way you cook on my list of things I like about you."

Harry blushes, and mutters a small thank you, but doesn't say anything else. 

Louis just keeps praising him on the meal all while finishing the last of his ice cream. Harry is long since finished his bowl disregarding it to the side. He's just sitting there now, turned to Louis as he talks and eats. His legs awkwardly crossed up on the couch in front of him. 

"You have ice cream on your face." Harry doesn't take his eyes away from Louis' lips. 

Louis pokes his tongue out, moving it around his mouth trying to get the ice cream. Since when was Louis such a messy eater. He doesn't seem to be getting it though. 

"Ughh." Harry lets out a groan, getting Louis attention. His eyes are wide, cheeks flush and he's starring directly at Louis' lips now. 

Louis smiles. "I don't really have ice cream on my face, do I?"

"No you do. It's just..." Harry licks him own lips. "Can I get it?"

Louis almost chokes on his own tongue, or the ice cream that's half way down his throat, or maybe just air. He chokes on something because as Harry asks if he can get it, he starts leaning toward Louis, eyes still focused on his lips. 

Harry is only a breathe away now. An obvious repeat of the night at the pub. 

"Yeah." Louis lets go of a breath he'd been holding in since Harry began moving toward him. 

That was the only permission Harry needed because seconds after his lips were softly placed on Louis' 

It was just how Louis had imagined it would be. Harry's lips so soft on his it was almost unreal. This Harry definitely didn't compare to Marcel. Louis is starting to believe more and more that Alien Harry, now known as Marcel, he encountered over a year ago is only a copy of this beautiful boy in front of him. The one currently attached to his lips. Harry is so so much more than Marcel. He feels guilty thinking it, but he can't help it. 

"Meow!"

Louis quickly pulls back from his spot on Harry's lips. 

"What was that?"

Harry blinks. "It was your cat."

"Fuck."

Funny enough Marcel was there, at the foot of the couch. Looking directly at them. Why can't Marcel just fuck the fuck off. 

"Hello kitty," Harry puts his hand out to pat him. 

The cat hisses, swiping his paw out at Harry's hand. Harry is fast enough to pull away. 

"Erm. I don't think he likes you."

Louis picks Marcel up. Damn Marcel. He'll just have to spend the night locked away if he's going to be a dick to Harry and not piss off. 

"What the fuck man? What is wrong with you?" Louis quietly asks the cat as he puts him in the bathroom. 

The cat obviously doesn't respond. 

Louis rushes back to the lounge room to continue things with Harry. 

"Where are you going?"

Harry's sitting on the edge of the couch now, hands down towards his shoes. He giggles. 

"I'm just taking my shoes off. Is that okay?" 

The stupid boy is literally asking permission to get comfy. He is too cute.

"Yeah." 

Louis sits back onto the couch facing Harry. Their eyes meet. 

"Where were we?"

They both answer the question by crashing their lips together, Louis warps an arm around Harry’s neck and they start kissing softly, both savouring the moment.

This kiss however, quickly turns into more than that of the last kiss. Hopefully there wont be any more interruptions from the cat because things seem to be moving fast. 

The way Harry holds him in his arms is so passionate, his body and embrace making the kiss even better, if possible. Harry’s cuddly nature does nothing to stop Louis from getting a boner. He didn’t mean to, honestly, but Harry is like a sex god and the way he’s kissing, dear god.

Good thing is, Louis is not the only one getting excited. If Harry’s bulge is anything to go by, then the man is into Louis just as much – or his skinny jeans are too tight.

They stop the make out session to catch their breaths and Louis finds this as the perfect opportunity to reach out his left hand and set in on Harry’s crotch, squeezing a little and making Harry’s breath stop for a second.

Louis thinks he did something wrong and he tries to take his hand back, but Harry’s hand stops him. When Louis looks up, he’s met with Harry’s eyes.

“Can I?” he asks just to be sure and Harry responds by biting his lip and nodding.

Louis starts moving his hand again, hearing the click in Harry’s throat when the man swallowed. He continues moving his hand, squeezing from time to time, feeling Harry hardening with every movement. It feels even better than he imagined just to get this far and he feels himself getting harder as well.

He has waited weeks for this moment, he isn't going to stuff it up now. 

He can feel Harry watching him. It took longer than he thought it would before Harry started to respond like Louis wanted him to. It was slow but satisfying, his shape became more substantial, having more to touch and explore.

Louis needs to use both hands to open Harry’s jeans, his hands slightly shaking when he drags the zipper down and opens the front of the jeans wide. Harry’s cock looks really uncomfortable and hard, a big tent in Harry’s briefs. He takes pity on him and pulls back the front of the briefs. 

"Fuck." His own cock is aching like hell so he quickly opens his jeans one handed, while the other massages Harry’s.

Suddenly, Harry gets on his feet then on his knees in front of Louis, leaving him open mouthed.

“What are you doing?”

“You’ll see,” Harry laughs and starts touching Louis’ penis, “Let me know if you don’t want it.”

This is reminding Louis of alien sexy times, it's all so overwhelming. 

Louis doesn’t feel like saying anything though when Harry’s soft lips slip over his head and takes him into his hot mouth. Louis doesn’t need to do anything because Harry starts bobbing his head back and forth and sucking at the same time. He pulls back to lick at the head, driving Louis insane and making him put his hand in Harry's hair. 

The hair pulling gets an immediate response from Harry, his tongue stroking in circles as he lowers his mouth farther. Louis has to look away from his lips and the way Harry looks or he’ll come embarrassingly fast. When the tip is pressing against the back of his throat, Harry stops and withdraws until just the head is nestled between his lips. The only thing Louis can do is moan, because holy shit, Harry really knows what he’s doing.

The sensations and thoughts racing throughout his mind and body are totally mind blowing, the mouth wrapped around his cock knows where to touch and where to stimulate him, his hips thrusting themselves upwards compulsively to the rhythm of Harry’s mouth and hand. Louis knows that he won’t be able to hold out for too long due to the attention being expertly performed on his cock.

Moments ago they were eating ice cream and kissing. Now this. Louis just can't.

“I’m not sure if I can keep...” Louis warns, but Harry doesn’t stop.

Harry is now pumping his own cock with his hand whilst his mouth continues to lick and suck. Louis lets out a loud moan as his hips thrust deep and hard in to Harry’s mouth as the first wave of orgasm takes him by surprise, the waves of pleasure taking over as more shots of cum shoot in to his mouth then when they started to subside the waves of utter sensitivity took over as Harry continued to swallow and Louis’ hips had completely sunk in to the couch.

After a few seconds, Louis bends down and tries to help Harry finish, but the man looks like he’s already done it himself, panting softly from where he’s sitting with his eyes closed and red, shiny lips.

"Fuck."

Is all Louis says, before Harry is crawling up his body to kiss him. He can taste himself on Harry, but he can still taste _Harry_ , reminding him how real this is compared to Marcel. Marcel had no taste. His lips were soft, but they weren't soft and delicious. 

"I've wanted to do that for so long." Harry says pulling back and licking his own lips. His hair is sprawled all over his forehead. He looks wrecked just from sucking Louis' cock. 

"Mm..I could get use to your lips."

He thinks he's said something wrong by the way Harry stiffens up a little bit, but when he tracks where Harry is looking he himself stiffens up. 

"Didn't you lock your cat up?"

There on the table next to the couch sits the Marcel. Eyes wide and staring at them like he just saw the whole thing. 

"Fucking hell!" Louis jolts up pushing Harry off his chest. "Just fuck off!" He scoops the cat up in his arms and angrily walks him back into the bathroom. Which is shut. God dammit this alien cat is really freaking Louis out now. He has no idea what it wants and apparently it likes watching people fuck. Well..it is a sex alien after all, but it's still extremely weird. 

He gets a wash cloth while he's in the bathroom so Harry can clean himself up. They're just lazily sitting on the couch now, watching Keeping Up With The Kardashians (Louis' fave but don't tell Niall). They're both too dazed and in a post orgasm land to say much of anything. 

~

It was two days until they saw each other again. Harry went home that night because he had errands to do first thing in the morning, something to do with his band. Louis thought that was it, he wouldn't see Harry again. He doesn't like Louis as much as Louis likes him and he some how blew his chance at dinner. That was until Harry called him. He was so excited to hear Harry's voice, that he jumped on the chance to ask him out on another date. 

So there they were on another date, this time in some fancy pizza place. Obviously it was Louis choice in restaurant as he was taking Harry there. He has a thing for Italian food apparently. Harry doesn't complain. 

It was a little weird for Louis going on dates and taking Harry to dates. He doesn't usually do this. For so long after his last boyfriend it was just fuck and ditch for him. He has never felt this comfortable and so compatible with someone until he met Human Harry. It might have a little to do with his initial curiously, but the feelings are still there. 

Three weeks and four dates later they make it official. Boyfriends. It's weird to think. Louis would never have thought to be in this place in his life a year ago. He knows he's good at being a boyfriend, well at least he hopes so. And Harry is the type of person that needs commitment. So when Harry asks him mid blowjob one night Louis was shooting cum all over Harry's chin and mouth as he lets out a loud yes. 

It was exactly one week after becoming official boyfriends that they have sex. Louis could think this is all moving too fast but Harry is so amazing he doesn't even think to care. 

The cat is still hanging around and Louis has stopped caring about that as well. It's always there awkwardly watching the two and hating Harry like it's life depended on it. It's even gotten to the point when Harry sometimes asks if they can go to his house instead of Louis because the cat is so evil. And Harry hates hanging around his roommates on the best of days. 

"Can we go to my place?" Harry asks lazily from his position on the couch one Sunday night. His feet are tangled up with Louis as Louis plays fifa. Harry never really plays, he just likes to watch Louis and he's been staring at him intently for the last 20 minutes. Louis can feel it. 

"Why?" Louis pauses the game and drops the controller crawling into Harry's lap. "Do you wanna get dirty?" He asks slyly, grinning and peppering Harry's chin with little kisses. 

"Yeah, but like..." 

"It's okay, I haven't seen Marcel all day, he's probably doing his own thing. We can just go into my room, yeah?"

"You talk like Marcel is a person. He'll just show up the second we take our clothes off." 

"We don't have to, i'll just stick my hands down your pants and all will be good." Louis leans forward more, smirking as his kisses Harry passionately. 

"It's just that..." Harry tries to speak between kisses. "I was wondering if.." He tires again.   
"Howdoyoufeelaboutsex" He says quickly mumbling his words. Louis can barley hear him, it's just that the word 'sex' stands out and his words get Louis' attention. 

"Yes!" 

Harry smiles so wide into a kiss. "Are you sure?" 

"Yes, yes, a hundred times yes." He grabs Harry's hand breaking away from the kissing for a moment to drag him to the bedroom. "No time to go your house." 

He doesn't need to explain himself because Harry isn't complaining. He's just giggling as Louis pushes him through the bedroom door.   
Before the door is even shut, Louis attaches himself to Harry's lips, grabbing the man around the waist and gentely moving him toward the bed. Harry falls gracefully on the bed once the back of his knees hit the edge. Louis wastes no time straddling him. The boy beneath him shuffles backward up the bed so he's propped up by cushions, Louis follows him chasing his taste. 

"I am so ready for this." Louis lets slip. 

He would have initiated the sex sooner, but he was a little worried because of the whole Alien Harry thing. This is Human Harry, he can't just lay their and take it. He wasn't dealing with a sex alien this time. 

Harry slips his hands under Louis' side, gliding them up and down in a soothing moment. Their lips locked in a kissing battle. 

He pushes the shirt up lifting it above Louis' head and tossing it to the side. When the shirt it gone, Louis grabs Harry's face in his hands continuing to kiss him like his life deepened on it. 

He ruts down his hips chasing friction. He can feel Harry beginning to get hard beneath him. His own cock starting to strain in his jeans. 

Louis reaches a hand down to palm at Harry's cock through his jeans, Harry chases the touch by thrusting him hips up to Louis' hand. 

"Wait there." Louis kisses him one last time before removing himself from Harry and standing at the edge of the bed. 

He takes a moment to look at Harry all spread out on the bed for him. His pupils are blown, his lips swollen and Louis can see the nice outline of his cock in his jeans. 

"When I come back, I want this being clothed thing sorted." Louis points a playfully stern finger at Harry motioning for his clothes to come off. 

When he comes back from his bathroom with the lube and condoms, Harry is fully naked on the bed, playing lightly with himself. 

Louis just groans. 

He quickly sheds himself of his own clothes, trailing them behind him as he makes his way to Harry. He resumes his previous position straddling Harry's hips. For the time being he discards the lube and condoms on the bed next to them. 

Louis frantically grinds down on Harry's cock again. This time the sensation of it being skin on skin has them both letting out whimpery groans. 

Louis shoves his hands between them, gripping Harry's cock in his hand and pumping softy. 

"I want you to fuck me." Louis leans down whispering in Harry's ear. 

He can hear Harry's breathing stop for just a moment before the man leans forward biting at Louis' lips. 

Before Louis can do anything more, he hears the click of the lube bottle opening.

He's still gripping Harry's cock when he feels a finger at his rim. It doesn't enter, Harry just puts light pressure there teasing Louis. 

"Ready?"

"Mmm" Louis licks his own lips in anticipation. 

Their eyes are locked when Harry pushes his finger in. Louis trusts his head back and groin down enjoying the touch. 

Harry doesn't even have a chance to move his finger out again before Louis is riding on Harry's finger doing the work for him. 

"Another."

Louis barley finishes the request as Harry slips in a second finger. 

They work together, Louis riding, and Harry moving his fingers around slightly reaching for his prostate. 

Three fingers deep, but Louis needs more. 

"Okay, okay I need you now." He lets out a few groans as Harry's fingers are removed. He leans down to kiss Harry trying to compensate for the lose of his fingers. 

"How do you want me?" 

Harry blinks up at Louis, trying to give a pleasing answer. 

"How do _you_ want me?" Harry rasped. 

Louis kisses him again, this time drawing it out and sticking his tongue in a little while biting Harry's lip. It's all very dirty.

"How about like this?" He asks, referring to their current position. "I want to ride you." 

Harry swallows, nodding his head slightly in agreement. He reaches over to grab the condom, but Louis stops him and takes it from his hand. He grips Harry's cock tightly, giving it a few stokes before slipping the condom on and adding more lube. 

He gets himself in position, grinding his ass down on Harry, teasing the boy a little (and himself). He can see Harry's head cast back as he lets out little groans. 

Louis doesn't want to leave him or Harry waiting anymore. He reaches back grabbing Harry's cock and lining himself up. He pushes down a little. As soon as the tip of Harry;s cock is in, he lets out a breathy moan. 

Harry grips his hips as Louis easies himself down getting seated and bottoming out. 

"You okay?"

"Yeah" Harry is fully inside Louis now, so Louis leans down to give Harry a sloppy kiss as he gets in the motion of moving up and down. After a few lazy movements, he starts to get into a rhythm, Harry's grip on his hips tightening the faster Louis gets. 

They're still in a lip lock, most of the time missing each others mouths. It's messy and hot as fuck and Louis doesn't want this to ever stop. 

He pulls up off Harry for a bit, clenching his eyes shut and concentrating on the drag of Harry's cock sliding in and out of him. Harry works with him for a bit, lifting his hips up and fucking into Louis with ease. 

They get into a nice rhythmic pattern, Louis head thrown back and eyes rolling in the back of his head as he rides Harry into oblivion. 

Harry's hands drop their grip from Louis hips and his trusts stop meeting Louis half way.

"All you, babe. I'm close."

It's all the permission Louis needs to get a nice bounce going on Harry's cock. Harry just sits back and watches the point where his cock disappears inside of Louis,. 

Louis is moving frantically up and down now, clenching his hole so Harry can feel the pressure around him. He's mid bounce when he first hears it. He opens his eyes and sees the cat on the bedside table starring. Fuck. He's too close to do anything about it, so he just keeps going, not bothering to tell Harry. He's so close to coming he can feel it in the pit of his stomach. For all he cares the cat can watch them shoot their loads. Hell, he can even lick it up!

Harry knows Louis is close, so he speeds up his movements. Small grunts and breathy moans the only sounds that can be heard as they both reach their climax -- that and a loud meow. 

~

The next morning Louis wakes up alone. He would be a little disappoint if he hadn't woken up to freshly made tea and a little note from Harry letting him know he had band practise that morning. 

Louis was happy. Very happy. But as soon as he shifted a little in the bed and felt something hard where Harry had been sleeping moment earlier, he felt guilty and just all over weird. There was Marcel, purring away and radiating a happiness even Louis thought was off. 

This cat, alien, sex alien, whatever, was fucking with his mind. Maybe he should tell Harry about it, then Marcel might leave. He needs to try something because the cat is honestly killing his mood. He was only suppose to hang around until Louis stopped thinking about him and messing with his strange sex alien vibe thing, but it's a little hard to stop thinking about him when he's hanging around 24/7. It also doesn't help that Louis keeps having that same threesome dream every other night. 

The cat jolts up, he's eyes going wide as Louis thinks about the threesome. Weird fucking cat. Marcel gets up from his spot and starts swivelling around Louis, rubbing up against his chest and head. "Meow."

"Fucking hell!" He gets up throwing the cat down on the ground in the process.

He needs to tell Harry about this, otherwise the cat will never leave. He just doesn't want Harry to think he's weird and leave him. Louis knows the whole things is crazy. As if someone would believe a sex alien came down to earth a year ago to fuck Louis Tomlinson and release him of his sexual frustration, and now said sex alien is living in the form of a cat in Louis' apartment because the kid wont fucking stop thinking about him. Yeah it's weird. 

~

He wouldn't see Harry later that night because he had a small gig in town that he insisted Louis didn't come to. He didn't even tell him where it was so he wouldn't show up. Damn Harry. He supposes he should probably see the lads, it feels like he hasn't seen them since him and Harry started dating.   
Knowing Niall is probably at work he shoots him a text before he has to leave for his own dead end job. He then contacts Liam, knowing the message will be passed onto Zayn. 

He's secretly hoping Zayn shows up today with some weed, but deep downs he knows that wont happen. Zayn has been too caught up with painting a lot lately. Louis isn't complaining, he has Harry now to bitch too about life. 

His entire shift he couldn't stop thinking about Harry and the way he looked while Louis rode him. He couldn't stop thinking about the way his cock filled Louis up nicely, and the way his lips tasted all plump and red. Harry is very distracting. It's safe to say Louis didn't get anything done today. 

He also couldn't help thinking about Alien Harry. It was on his mind more than ever and he knows he has to do something about it, like tell _Human Harry_. Louis sighs placing his face in his hands. He'll tell the lads tonight and ask them what they think about the whole situation. If he really wants to make things work with Harry, he's going to be completely honest with him. 

~ 

When he gets home the lads are already there. It seems Liam and Zayn bought Chinese food. It's spread out on the table, Niall and Zayn already hoeing in and Liam politely waiting for Louis to show up. 

"Oh good, you're here. We can eat." At that Liam reaches for some rice to serve himself up a plate. 

"Too late for that." Niall mumbled around a mouthful of food. 

"I hate you guys" Louis starts entering the room. "So much."

"No you don't you love us. That's why we're 'ere" 

Niall was right, Louis did love them. A lot. He may as well get this over with and do it like ripping off a bandaid. If the boys think he's weird or don't believe him, then Harry definitely will. It's all very stressful, and Louis is using this as a sort of test run. 

"I need to tell you something." He drops down in a seat next to Niall, he can hear him grossly chewing, but at Louis' words he stops. 

"Alright?"

He looks around the room to see all eyes on him, the three boys at the table listening to whatever Louis has to say next. So he gets straight to it. 

"So you know how we went camping about a year ago?"

"Yeah. Good times!"

Liam and Zayn look at each other with a knowing smirk. Gross. 

"Well..." Louis honestly doesn't know how to word this. "When I was getting some firewood I sorta saw an alien in the woods."

"WHAT?" Zayn's eyes practically jump out of his head. "I knew it! I knew they were real and none of you ever believe me!!" He's hitting Liam playfully on the arm because he's the one who is usually giving him shit. Niall just laughs at them, bits of food falling out of his mouth and on to the table. If he's not carful he might choke, but Louis isn't laughing. He's waiting for them to stop so he can continue.   
"Zayn stop it, let Louis finish." Bless Liam, honestly. 

"Yeah. So remember how the sky flashed, I think that's what it came from."

Niall goes to say something, but Louis stops him.

"Let me finish. I need to get this all out."

Niall shuts his mouth and lets him continue. The boys listening carefully.

"Well I saw this alien and it was really weird, and it knew my name and it had a space ship that turned into all sorts of things but the thing it stayed the most was a bed, I know this sounds weird but it was some sort of Sex Alien that wanted to have sex with me and we fucked on the bed. He called himself Harry, but right after I came he fucked off and I never saw him again and sorry, please don't think i'm crazy I just needed to tell someone." Louis gets it all out in one breath. 

Niall blinks.

"No fucking way!"

"I know, I sound crazy, but it's true."

"The same thing happened to me in high school. Holy fuck I haven't told a sole because I thought I was crazy!"

"What?" All their heads snap to Niall now as he gears up for a story. 

"Yeah, same thing mate, except it wasn't Harry. It was girl, but she didn't give her name. It was right after you three lads lost your virginities. I was still a virgin and was getting really sexually frustrated and then one night this girl just knocked on my bedroom door and we fucked."

"Are you kidding me?"

"Tommo, I'm fucking serious. It's a lot more common than you think. After it happened I did some google research on her home planet, Athea or something. I mean, there isn't much on it. People don't like to talk about it because they think it's embarrassing."

Louis is shocked to say the least. He could have been talking about this with Niall for a while but he was too embarrassed and scared to tell anyone. 

"Okay, but I have a problem."

"You want him to come back because you can't stop thinking about him and it was the best sex you've had in your life? I've been there mate, you have to get over it. He's not coming back."

"Except he is back. Okay not Alien Harry. It's Harry, my Harry as in my boyfriend Harry. He looks exactly like him, he even talks like him and smells like him. It's literally him. Except it's not!"

"Woah, that's weird mate. I've never heard of a sex alien coming back for seconds. It's usually a one time deal."

"It's not him though. It's Human Harry and he is so beautiful, he's so much like the alien from a year ago. I mean come on, you lads have met him. 

"I'm guessing you want some advice?" Liam asks being a mother about this all. Like always. 

"I don't know what to doooooo!" Louis drops his head to the table with a soft bang. The boys don't think he's weird, but it's still strange having them know. 

"What's the problem then? You already have Harry."

Zayn makes a good point, but he's missing the one Louis is trying to make. 

"It's not that, I just feel like i'm lying to Harry and every time we fool around i'm thinking about it and I feel guilty. Partly the reason I started talking to him and going on dates with him was because I was curious about the alien thing and I wanted to know if it was Alien Harry. Turns out it wasn't Alien Harry and it was just regular Harry."

Louis doesn't want to tell the boys about the cat. Which is alien Harry. Now that's embarrassing. They know the cat watches Harry and Louis sometimes, and he thinks maybe somethings he needs to keep to himself. 

"You need to tell him."

Yeah he knows that. He knows that deep down. If Harry wants to leave him then so be it, but he needs to get this off his mind. Maybe it'll make the cat leave also. He is so over the fucking cat. 

He sighs for what feels like the 10th time that day. He's so grateful for the boys and how understanding they are. Any other friends would be sending him to a mental ward he's sure of it. 

He needs to tell Harry.

~

Later that night when Liam and Zayn had left, and Niall went off to bed Louis was left alone with his thoughts.

Harry was coming over soon after his gig and he knows he'll expect Louis to be a sleep. That's why he usually leaves a key hidden around the front door, but tonight he's awake and fully ready to tell Harry about all things alien. Well everything he knows and has experienced anyways. 

It's then that he hears a light knock at the door, almost hesitant and so quiet as if Harry didn't really want to wake anyone on the other side of the door. 

"Hey," Louis greets Harry opening the door for him.

"Oh, I didn't think you'd be awake"

Louis sighs, "Well I am."

"You okay?" Harry reaches out for Louis grabbing him around the waist, "What's up?"

"I need to tell you something and I'm scared you might leave me and think i'm fucked up." 

Harry crowds closer to Louis nuzzling his face in his neck. "Try me." 

"You may want to sit down."

"Lou, come on just tell me. Sitting or standing you're still going to tell me the same thing right?"

"I feel if you're sitting you'd.."

"Lou! Just tell me!"

"Fine" 

He takes a step back from Harry creating a small amount of space between them. He purposely avoids eye contact.

"I fucked an alien a year ago and it looked exactly like you." 

Louis tenses waiting for Harry's reaction, clearly expecting the worst, but what he doesn't expect is Harry's laughter, his sweet boyish laughter. He looks up to see Harry's eyes wide and his hand thrown over his mouth to keep his giggles at bay. 

"Is that it?" Harry lets slip between breathes. 

"Why are you laughing? Why aren't you taking me seriously." 

"No I am, it's just..." Harry composes himself giving Louis his full attention. "This isn't anything I haven't heard before, almost all of my friends have fucked an alien at some point." 

"But you don't understand he looked exactly like you and even called himself Harry."

"That is so hot." 

Harry smirks and bites his lip looking louis up and down as he checks him out. 

"What?" Louis is confused. Is Harry getting turned on by this. "Are you getting turned on by this?"

"Maybe," Harry blushes and moves closer to Louis again reaching out to touch him. 

"One last thing..."

"Mmm?" Harry mumbles as he leaves kisses on Louis' face clearly turned on and ready to get off. 

"The alien is the cat and it wont fuck off."

"Meow!" And of course Marcel is there right as if on queue.

"FUCK OFF MARCEL!" 

"Woah, woah baby." Harry soothes a hand over Louis' face to calm him down. "Maybe we can work something out. There's obviously a reason he's still around." 

"What do you mean?"

"Well he's a sex alien, right? and if there's one thing these aliens want..it's sex." 

"What are you saying?" 

Louis squints his eyes at Harry trying to work out his words. Harry just smirks are wiggles his eyebrows. 

"Oh HELL NO I'M NOT HAVING A THREESOME WITH A CAT!" 

Harry laughs again. As much as he loves Harry's laugh he is really getting sick of him bringing it out at inappropriate moments. 

"No you fool. If we promise the cat sex if i'm not wrong he'll be in human form again?"

"Uh, I guess." 

"Meow." Marcel is still looking at them from the ground with hopeful eyes.

"Now promise the cat a threesome."

"You're not freaked out about this?" Louis questions. He was honestly expecting Harry to be a little more freaked out by this, not fully turned on already popping a boner and ready to fuck into oblivion with an alien. 

"Why would I be?" 

Louis moves slowly to the cat, bending down to it's level. "Uhh, hey Marcel." He starts already wincing at his next choice of words. "Harry..Uh, Human Harry and I would like to offer you sex..uh, if you're up for it." 

That's all Louis has to say before there is a big flash of light making both Harry and Louis jump back. Both of them blink trying to adjust after being blinded for a second, and then they see him...Alien Harry standing before them in all his glory. Louis may be bias but he doesn't look as good as Human Harry even thought they do look 'exactly the same'.

"Oh my God!" Harry has the biggest _fuck me now_ smile on his face and he's looking between Louis and Alien Harry like he could wreck them both in seconds. 

"Are you sure about this Harry?" 

Harry doesn't answer for a few seconds and Louis think he may have changed his mind. He's looking straight at Alien Harry now summing him up. He is identical to Harry there isn't a thing different and it's kinda freaky but in a way it's still hot as fuck. Harry slowly turns to Louis with big sex eyes and all. 

"Fuck yes! I've always wondered what it would be like to fuck me."

Before Louis can reply he's being shoved frantically towards the bedroom by two horny Harry's.

~

Fin

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading :)
> 
> Special thanks to Diana (ilovelemon) for giving me motivation to write and believing in me!  
> [tumblr post](http://larry0prompts.tumblr.com/post/121995219903/touch-me-with-your-alien-dick-by-tvfeels)
> 
> louiefeels.tumblr.com


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